profile

Bonnie Harris Connective Parenting

What Are the Secrets that Make Children Successful?

Published about 1 year ago • 2 min read

Feb. '24 Connective Parenting Lessons

What Are the Secrets that Make Children Successful?

Hello Reader,

​

As parents, we want to raise successful children who reach launch-age fully capable of conducting their own lives with responsibility and respect.

​

This is the time, no matter how young your child is, to focus on the ultimate goal of them having 100% authority over themselves.

​

As your child grows, your job is to slowly and gradually hand over this authority. So the question becomes: How do we get them there?

​

Warmly,

​

In this Week's Newsletter

  • What Are the Secrets that Make Children Successful?
  • Related Topics:
    • “Wait, aren’t I the parent here?” Using Your Parent Authority
    • If I Don’t Punish or Give Consequences, What DO I Do? How to Use Problem Solving
  • Plus 1-to-1 Coaching via Zoom, Facetime, or Phone
  • And Parenting Support Books in Print, Digital & Audio. (You'll wish your parents had these!)

CONNECT WITH ME

What Are the Secrets that Make Children Successful?

We want our children to feel inspired and fulfilled in their lives, right? Doing what they love, satisfied with most of their choices and in mutually respectful relationships with others.

​

To reach this goal, it's crucial to stay in the moment and hold onto these 3 pillars:

​

  1. An understanding of child development to hold realistic expectations
  2. An understanding of individual children’s temperaments to keep expectations appropriate
  3. Your own work to maintain good boundaries and not take behavior personally

​

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Want to raise successful kids through your own confident parenting?

​

Last month, I shared a post that resonated with so many of you!

​

"We must take care of ourselves so we can take care of our children."

​

I love that this community is a safe space where we can accept and support one another's parenting journeys. Love this inspiring response from Rebecca:

​

"Plus we show our kids that they should also prioritize their health, as well. Now my kids and I work out together often."

​

 

Rebecca Winters, Connective Parent

“Wait, aren’t I the parent here?” Using Your Parent Authority

It’s your job to make sure things get done or learned that your children don’t and shouldn’t care about — things that are your priorities (their safety, health, etc.), not theirs. Because you are the parent.

And yet, to have legitimate authority, the parent must first let go of autocracy: obedience and control. (Tough to do when you're supposed to be in charge; I know!)

But for authority to be legitimate, your children must feel that it is fair and logical.

It starts by knowing what to expect of each child. And then when authority is understood, rules and requirements get simple.

​

COACHING

Let go of old habits that distance you from your kids.

Set up a private session and work with me via phone, Zoom, or Facetime. Choose a 30 (free), 60 or 90-minute session.​
​

​

If I Don’t Punish or Give Consequences, What DO I Do? How to Use Problem Solving

​

The first and most important stage of problem solving is connection—empathizing with your child no matter what has happened.

After connection has been made and the child feels understood, then thinking is called on. The parent facilitates the child’s thought process.

The #1 rule of problem solving: Everyone involved must agree on the solution. Don’t stop until agreement is reached.

​

THE BOOKS YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS HAD!

Audio, Kindle & Print

Ready to find out why you react the way you do when your kids drive you crazy?

(And wherever you listen to your favorite reads.)

For parents who want a calmer, less stressful, healthier relationship with their kids.

152 Windy Row, Peterborough, NH 03458
​Unsubscribe · Preferences​

Bonnie Harris Connective Parenting

Read more from Bonnie Harris Connective Parenting

Nov. '23 Connective Parenting Lessons How to Resist the "Toughen Up Trap" Hello Reader, When I hear parents say, “My job is to prepare him to deal with the real world,” I hear a justification for traditional, authoritarian parenting, and I want to counter it to expose the moving parts. Because the family is not the place to train children to be tough so they’re ready for the big, bad world. Living in a family before launching independently into the world, is the place where one’s sense of...

over 1 year ago • 2 min read

Oct. '23 Connective Parenting Lessons It's Okay To Parent Differently Hello Reader, This month I'd like to discuss how to agree to disagree on the inevitably different parenting styles spouses have, while still connecting with mutual respect for one another. I know of no families where two spouses have exactly the same parenting style. And most are very different. Different parents from different backgrounds will inevitably see things differently. This can be perfectly okay as long as there...

over 1 year ago • 3 min read

Oct. '23 Connective Parenting Lessons Addressing Heightened Aggression in Children Hello Reader, In this month's lesson, I am addressing heightened aggression in children, what it reveals, and what parents can do about it both before it gets out of hand or after things have spiraled to the point of jepordized safety. Supporting kids who become aggressive early is the best practice for helping them find a path for positive communication strategies. If aggressive behviors are not properly...

over 1 year ago • 2 min read